| National Wrestling League - November 4, 1995 - Keyser, WV |
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| Friday, November 03, 1995 | |||
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DEBBIE DOES KEYSER (NWL RESULTS, 11/4/95), BY JEFF AMDUR I am sitting here at two o'clock on a Sunday morning, writing this post while it is still fresh in my mind. I'll eventually get some sleep; but it still seems to be a distant pipe dream. After spending the whole morning and early afternoon proctoring SAT exams (nothing like getting $62 for sitting around and watching high school kids sweat and suffer ), I hightailed it home to change from teacher mode to wrestling timekeeper mode. Saturday night's clanger-dinging assignment was for the National Wrestling League promotion of Dick Caricofe, based in Hagerstown, Md. The destination---beautiful, downtown Keyser, West Virginia, the home of baseball legend and wrestling fan John Kruk. More specifically, at Potomac State, the alma matter of John Kruk. Two features that I had seen the last time we did a card at PSU were not present this time: a) the college baseball uniform of John Kruk hanging from the rafters; and b) John Kruk himself, watching the card. Dick Caricofe told me he had hoped Kruk would be there, so he could try and talk him into returning to the athletic world by enrolling himself as a student in Neil Superior's wrestling school. After making a quick detour to BWI airport near Baltimore to pick up wrestler and her niece, I was on my way to the park-'n'-ride to hook up with referee Handsome Howard Goldman, who would be driving the remaining 3 hours of the journey. Debbie regaled me with her tales of matches against Moolah, of her current matches, and of managers getting beat up by wrestlers in the Bahamas. She told me she had paid her own way to come to this show because she was here for a purpose. I'll skip the description of dinner and head straight for the card.... One of the two main events for the card is supposed to be Ricky Morton vs. Shane Shadows. Before the card starts, promoter-&-ring-announcer-all-in-one Dick Caricofe announces that Ricky Morton is unable to make the card because of injuries sustained in a match a day or two ago in Tennessee against the very same Shane Shadows. Shadows then comes out, grabs the microphone from Dick, and proceeds to gloat to the crowd about his complete destruction of Ricky Morton. At that point Debbie Combs arrives on the scene, and I finally discover what her "purpose" is. Debbie also worked the card in Tennessee where Ricky was injured. Knowing that her cousin Ricky was too hurt to fulfill his commitment, she had to uphold the family honor and offers to kick Shane's butt. She then formally challenges Shane to a match. After Shane stops laughing, Dick Caricofe says that he has never allowed an intergender match before on one of his cards. He mentions that in his Maryland home base, the omnipotent Maryland State Athletic Commission would never allow this sort of stuff Nevertheless, he says that since this was West Virginia, the decision is up to him. He will announce his decision later in the show. At that point Shane further insults Debbie, and Debbie takes a chair and literally chases Shane throughout the gym, in all possible directions. As Debbie whips Shane into a wall of the gym, I am almost caught up in it, taking special care to save the can of Diet Coke I had just bought and was taking back to the timekeeper's table. And remember, we haven't even started the card yet... MATCH #1: In a 6-man tag-team opener, the team of DON JULIO SANCHEZ & DOCTOR EGON ECTON & THE LAB EXPERIMENT pins the team of MR. WRESTLING III & CHRIS WAYNE & KENNY PAGE in 11:06. Although there seems to be some discord among the bad guys, with the Doctor and his Experiment paying sparse attention at times to Don Julio, the team eventually meshes. The end comes as referee HANDSOME HOWARD (if he had one more eye he'd be a cyclops) GOLDMAN, caught in the wrong position as always, doesn't see Don Julio do an elbow smash off the top rope on to Wrestling III, who had a bad guy pinned at the. Of course, my ol' buddy Howard recovers just in time to count a pinfall for The Don, The Doc, and The Freak. MATCH #2: DOC HOLLYWOOD pins TROY METZ in 10:33. Metz, dressed in bib overalls, gets a great pop from the Keyser crowd. He tries some daring moves; but in the end Doc H triumphs. Now, Dick Caricofe announces his decision, that he *will* allow the guy-vs-gal match, with reluctance. MATCH #3: DEBBIE COMBS pins SHANE SHADOWS in 6:25. This is actually the first one of these that I have seen live in the almost 40 years I have been watching wrestling matches. Almost saw one at that awful Baltimore Bash where Jim Cornette was supposed to wrestle Missy Hyatt as members of opposing tag teams. That match, after having been advertised for ppv, never happened, due to the watchful eye of the now-- legendary Md. State Athletic Commission. From the bell, Debbie kicks @$$ and resumes her pursuit of Shane around the gym. Debbie gets the biggest pop of the night. They brawl in the stands. Good, solid action with no rest holds at all. Debbie's niece is at the souvenir table wearing her aunt's ring jacket during the match. The action culminates in Debbie's rolling up Shane, grabbing a handful of tights exposing Shane's tuchus to most of the gym, and pinning him. Debbie's niece has on her face the biggest smile ever invented. After the match there is more posturing as Shadows walks around the ring, making sure that his tuchus is seen by the whole state of West Virginia. Continued taunts from sore-loser Shane as he walks back to the gym door to leave. Debbie sneaks up on him, pulls down the back of his tights, and takes a bite out of Shane's tuchus. The one thought going through my mind at that moment is "I wonder if anybody tried that with Yokozuna as an opponent. " INTERMISSION: Fans all line up for autographs, pictures and refreshments. Debbie rakes in the dough selling her autographed pictures, possibly enough to cover a good part of her plane fare. Swarms of lust-starved pubescent males stop me to ask if I know whether Sunny the Bodydonna is coming out for pictures and autographs. I find out that Sunny has decided to stay in her locker room. MATCH #4: The NWL tag-team champions, ASSAULT AND BATTERY (JIMMY DEO & MAXX CRIMSON) retained their championship by pinning THE DARK FORCES (Dick didn't even know their individual names; I'll call them MUSTACHE GUY & CHUBBY GUY) in 16:41. Deo & Crimson have three--count 'em, three--tag team titles at the present time, from NWL, PCW and AAW. During the first half of the match, the Forces do a good job of preventing A&B from tagging each other. Jimmy & Maxx rally and gain the upper hand. The end comes as Deo rolls up Mustache Guy for the pin. I hadn't seen Deo wrestle in two or three years; I had forgotten what a good show he gives the customers, plus, Crimson complements him well. MATCH #5: In his wrestling debut, BLACKHAWK pins SWITCHBLADE (managed by SHANE SHADOWS) in 14:38. Shane has guts showing his face (the one connected to his head and neck, not the other one that he had showed earlier) once again after having suffered the earlier embarrassment at the hands of Debbie Combs. In fact, as Shadows interferes in the match, the crowd chants "We want Debbie! We want Debbie!" Blade does such a great job of distracting ref HOWARD (if he had one more eye he'd be Sammy Davis, Jr.) GOLDMAN that Shane (remember, Shadows is the manager and Switchblade the wrestler) is able to do a plancha off the ropes onto the prone Native American on the floor. The wrestlers also come up with nice moves. Switchblade does a perfectly-executed belly-to-belly on Blackhawk but is unable to hold him down for the pin. Blackhawk later bulldogs both Blade and Shadows at once and pins el Switcho. MATCH #6: NWL heavyweight champion NEIL "THE POWER" SUPERIOR retains his championship with a pinfall over BODYDONNA SKIP (accompanied by BODYDONNA SUNNY) in 9:46. As the wrestlers come to ringside to be introduced, Sunny grabs a microphone from the sound engineer and remarks to the crowd ":You saw that Debbie Combs earlier; now see what a *real* woman looks like." Skip tells the crowd that since he's in Keyser, and since the NWL belt (in his opinion) is worth nothing, he promises to throw the belt in the trash before he has his next WWF match should he win. Superior, the major star of the NWL, gets his usual mega-pop. Skip and Sunny go ballistic as a result of the Neil-pop as well as the chants of "Barry! Barry! Barry!" directed their way. At one point, Neil picks a ringside spectator to keep an eye on Sunny, but he is reminded that since the spectator isn't a licensed manager, she can't be there. As usual, referee HOWARD (if he had one more eye he'd be on a can of National Boh--a reference only my fellow Baltimoreans will appreciate) GOLDMAN finds himself in an uncomfortable location, playing the role of lox and cream cheese while Neil and Skip are the two halves of the bagel. Howard is squashed; all three wrestlers are lying motionless on the mat. Sunny interferes, placing Skip on top of Neil while she tries unsuccessfully to revive Handsome Howard. It is at this moment that Debbie Combs, having heard the insult hurled her way at the beginning of the match, sneaks up from behind, scares Sunny out of the ring, reverses the positions of Superior and Skip, and makes the successful attempt to revive the ref. A revived and revitalized ref counts for the pinfall. After the match, Debbie plants a kiss on the cheek of an unsuspecting Skip. Sunny seems perturbed as she and Skip walk out of the gym to return to Titanland.
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