| Future Wrestling Alliance - October 2, 1999 - Palo Alto, PA |
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| Friday, October 01, 1999 | |||
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A hastily-accepted challenge by Future Wrestling Alliance champion Mike Quackenbush proved to be his undoing, a beloved local hero is forced to leave the FWA by being pinned in a stipulation match, and the first-ever FWA tag team champions were crowned at the FWA "Ultimate Jeopardy" card held at the Citizens Fire Company in Palo Alto, PA, on October 2. Attendance estimated at 325-350. Evil FWA President: DAN MORELAND. Ring announcer: "DAREDEVIL" DAVE NEISWENDER. Timekeeper at the bell: "CAROLINA" JIM TITUS. Referees for the evening: PAUL TURNER and D. EDWARDS. Taking pictures at ringside for the mags: TIM WALKER. Observed in the crowd: wrestler ROB NOXIOUS and promoter/wrestler DOUG FLEX. Taping at ringside: GARY WALTER. DAVE NEISWENDER's opening remarks are interrupted by PAUL ADAMS, who, in a "Then I said to myself: 'Self', " soliloquy, says he has "re-invented" himself as the manager of the tag-team champions to be, his SEX IDOLS. The other teams in the four-way tag dance follow them to the ring. MATCH 1: A four-way tag-team elimination match that will crown the first-ever FWA tag team champions: THE SEX IDOLS (TOMMY IDOL & QEENEN CREED, with PAUL ADAMS) vs. THE INTIMIDATORS ("MEAN" MARK MEST & MAXX CRIMSON) vs. GREGORY MARTIN & MARK "THE SHARK" SHRADER (with GABRIELLA LEE) vs. ADAM FLASH & "DOOMSDAY" DANNY ROSE (from THE FAMILY OF FREAKS). I notice that Martin has joined his partner Shrader in wearing shark-patterned wrestling tights. The early action pits Freaks against Intimidators, and Doomer and Adam have trouble maneuvering the huge Mest. They finally maneuver Mest into their corner where they start to wear him down. Shrader tags in and is promptly suplexed by Rose. Martin and Creed trade holds, then Shrader comes in and back suplexes Creed for a 2-count. Shrader tags Mest, Martin also comes in. Marty hits a flying body block off the top rope that finally topples Mest, pinning him in 6:35. The Intimidators done been intimidated! Doomer resumes the action with a sidewalk slam and 2-count on Qeenen. He sets up Creed for Flash to hit a top rope leap. Adam covers but the ref is busy elsewhere and doesn't count the pin attempt. Idol tags in, only to find himself doubly victimized by the Shark-tights guys, each doing their version of the Shrader-trademarked "Oh, I know!" sit-in. Flash then tags in and punches out both Shark and Marty. Tommy tags in and his hit by Flash's running Liger bomb. Manager Adams distracts wrestler Adam and gets punched out for his troubles; but this enables Idol to schoolboy the distracted Flash for the pin in 11:47. Two teams left. Martin puts a gut-wrencher on Creed and gets a 2-count. Creed and Idol get their own 2-counts on Martin after respective ddt and power slam. Idol puts Marty in a modified Boston crab as Qeenen leg drops Marty's neck. Martin recovers to hit both opponents with a double clothesline. Shark makes the hot tag and slams both guys, getting a 2-count on Idol. His pin attempt on Idol after a gut-wrench is short-circuited as he is pulled off by Paul Adams. Gabriela gets in the act, chasing Adams away; but Idol hits Marty with an inverted pile driver, following with a leg drop and a pin. THE SEX IDOLS (IDOL & CREED) win the title in 17:20. MATCH 2: NICK BURKE vs. MONGOOSE. In the early stages of the match, Nick is sent over the top rope, and the top rope breaks off. There are some tense moments for those of us on the opposite side of the ring as we don't know whether Nick has been injured. Nick emerges, and is rolled up by Mong for a 2-count before rolling up Mong himself for the win. BURKE gets the 46-second pin fall. For the rest of the evening, we will be watching a ring with two ropes, as the bottom rope is put on top and we are left with no bottom rope. MATCH 3: MAX HAVOC vs. DINO DIVINE. Dino, in the unfamiliar role of fan favorite, gets the best of this battle of power moves with Havoc. When Max misses a top-rope dive, Dino small-packages him for the pin. DIVINE by fall in 5:41. MATCH 4: "THE GHETTO SUPERSTAR" DON MONTOYA & RECKLESS YOUTH (with PAUL ADAMS) vs. FLASH WHEELER & "LIGHTNING" MIKE QUACKENBUSH. Before the match, Reckless challenges Flash to a breakdancing contest, with Montoya's mouth providing the beat. As soon as Flash begins his performance, he is attacked by Montoya. The match is supposed to be a singles match between Wheeler and Montoya; but a few minutes into the match, after Don inexplicably tags to Reckless, Flash goes to the back and brings out FWA champion Quackenbush as his partner. Bear with me on this one, folks, I have a page and a half of notes on this one. At times like this I think I'd rather be timekeeping so I can limit myself to describing finishes [sigh]. The early tag-team stages of the match are dominated by a lack of coordination among the bad guys, as Don and Reckless repeatedly bump into each other inadvertently. Quack and Reckless speed up the pace with stuff too fast for me to write in my notes :) Quack eventually gets a 2-count on Montoya after a 360-degree sault. Flash and Reckless then tag in, and Flash corners Reckless before he is clotheslined by an interfering Montoya. Montoya gets various 2-counts on flash, as he holds on to manager Adams for leverage. Reckless tags in (actually a phantom tag) and delivers a 180-degree splash off the top rope, getting his own 2-count on Flash. Don with another 2-count after a splash on Wheeler. Reckless misses a moonsault, and Flash is able to tag to Quack. Quack clobbers Reckless and huracanranas Montoya (quite a feat by itself). Flash hits Don with a famouser. Quack hits a top rope leap and gets a 2-count. Montoya misses a top rope leap on Quack. Flash misses the same thing on Don. Reckless misses a top-rope moonsault on Flash. Quack breaks the strikeout streak with a 2-count after a back suplex on Reckless. Montoya, showing incredible agility, hits a back-leap elbow onto Wheeler, who falls through the ringside table as a result. Quack then hits one of those flying whatamaneuvers (hell if I know what it's called, or even if it has a name) onto Montoya and then side-cradles him for the pin, with Wheeler still prone on the shattered table. QUACKENBUSH and WHEELER get the victory in 20:10. After the match, Quack is attacked by two wrestlers and a manager that the crowd is unfamiliar with. The manager identifies himself as "HOT SHOT" DREW LAZARIO, and introduces his charges as LOW KEY and FLY DADDY. For those of you still unfamiliar with these folks, Lazario is a familiar figure in the western PA circuit, Key is from New York, and Fly Daddy is a PA native who went to "finishing school" at the APW Training Center in California, wrestling for APW as JARDI FRANTZ. Ironically, Fly had been training with Quackenbush before his move to California. Lazario announces that the title reign of Quackenbush is over, and dare Quack to put his title on the line tonight in a three-way match against Low and Fly. Quack, in a decision he will later regret, accepts the challenge. MATCH 5: JOHNNY GRECCO vs. THE CREMATOR. Most of this match takes place outside of the ring, as the crowd is heavily behind Cremator, peppering the air with chants of "Grecco [sips something through a straw]!" Early on, Grecco gets a bit cocky and, after a crotch chop, finds himself on the receiving end of Cremator's sitting Lewinsky. Cremator hits a clothesline and gets a 2-count. Cremator then moves to squash Grecco in a corner; but Johnny moves and ref Edwards is squashed instead. Cremator attempts successive pins after a power slam and then a choke slam, but the ref is out cold. As Crem turns his attention to reviving the ref, he is crotched on the ring post by Grecco. Grecco then throws a fire ball into Crem's eyes and covers for the pin. GRECCO gets the fall in 10:13. After the match, a temporarily-blinded Cremator choke slams the security guy who has come into the ring to help him. MATCH 6: For the FWA championship, champion "LIGHTNING" MIKE QUACKENBUSH vs. LOW KEY vs. FLY DADDY (both Low and Fly with "HOT SHOT" DREW LAZARIO). The match is reminiscent of lucha, with a lot of tumbling and high-risk maneuvers. It quickly becomes sort of a handicap match for Quack, as Fly and Key show no interest at all in wrestling each other. Quack starts early with a double drop kick and a plancha onto the opponents on the floor. Key counters with a side body flip and a 2-count, then a top rope leap and 2-count. He jackhammers Quack and then throws him out of the ring. Quack's troubles are compounded as he falls victim to Fly's moonsault. Low Key then moonsaults onto both guys, with Quack receiving the worst of it. Low hits a side kick and gets a 2-count. Fly Daddy misses a leap, and Quack makes a recovery. He delivers three (count 'em) Death Valley drivers to Key before dropping him to the mat for a 2-count. He dvd's Fly Daddy for a similar 2-count as Key makes the save. Fly hits some kind of rana move on Quack and moves so Low can splash him for a 2-count. Low then hits a sensational tilt-a-whirl pile driver and covers Quack for the pin./ LOW KEY is the new FWA champion with a 9:46 pin. After the match, Quack is triple teamed by Fly, Low and Lazario and must be helped back to the locker room. Okay, here are the stipulations to the "Ultimate Jeopardy" six-man tag match. If CHEF D.Z. GILLESPIE gets pinned, he must leave the FWA. If RC is pinned, he must quit his deejay job at T-102. If HIGH VOLTAGE is pinned, he will get his head shaved. If SABOTH is pinned, he must leave the FWA. If JAKE DANIELS is pinned, the wrestler pinning him will receive $1000 from Dan's briefcase. If DAN MORELAND is pinned, the wrestler pinnning him will become FWA president. MATCH 7: JAKE DANIELS & SABOTH & DAN MORELAND vs. CHEF D.Z. GILLESPIE & RC & HIGH VOLTAGE. Chef arrives with a trash can o' weapons that were contributed at the door by fans. It's the quintessential [procreative act of the cluster variety] as everything is used, from sticks to cookie tins to 2x4s to silly string to baseball bats to guitars to other things too numerous to mention. The disk jockey RC is bloodied early and often, but he is not pinned. I can't keep up with the action but I do observe Dan Moreland doing the Chef's own rolling-pin maneuver on the chef and pinning him. DANIELS & SABOTH & MORELAND by pin fall in 9:17. Chef, being pinned, must leave the FWA, which is doubly difficult because the Chef is from Schuylkill County where Palo Alto is located. Ringsiders are in tears as Chef leaves the ringside area, with Moreland, hoisted on the shoulders of Saboth and Daniels, serenades him with "Na na na na na na na na hey hey goodbye". A Chef-less FWA will return to the Citizens Fire Hall on Saturday, November 20. If you're in the area (and even if you're not--hell, I made the 160-mile drive up there to see this), it's time well spent.
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